we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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