Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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