Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
