Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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