I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
