god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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