She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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