kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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