he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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