i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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