I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize