I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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