Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
