What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
