Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
