So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
