So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
