would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Come see our sink grown plant.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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