Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
