bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
