There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
