The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
