that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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