I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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