i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
