The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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