allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
