Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
