I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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