Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

(734): View more from Michigan

nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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(804): View more from Virginia

Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.

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(816): View more from Missouri

We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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(925): View more from California

Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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(305): View more from Florida

I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating

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