Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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