i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
