I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
