There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
