Say something about gay babies.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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