I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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