I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
