Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm having to shit out rocks
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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