Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
