is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
