I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
