So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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