I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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