girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
