Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
