you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
