Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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