For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
