Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize