Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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