im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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