I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
