My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
