I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
