It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
