hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
