I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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