If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
