Welp...herpes.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
